Friday, August 1, 2008

The Party-It just wasn't THAT bad



I told everyone that come “rain or shine,” the party was on… Well, it came rain. I heard on the morning news that it just might rain, but it would be a quick down pour, and then you could about your outdoor activities just as if it never happened. Not the case for our party. Well, we were able to go about our activities, but it seemed like an eternity later. And, I suspect a handful of very intelligent invitees, chose to avoid our party at all costs as they heard the tornado siren blaring in it seemed every county throughout MN. And, I don’t blame them.

The party ponies, the friendly donkey, and a small goat that is known for jumping through a hula hoop, seemed unaffected by the small tornado that continued to whip through the party. And, the kids who rode them seemed even less affected. Little Annie Oakley, I mean Courtney Klein took advantage of those children afraid of the storm, to get more than one ride…and as I saw, the opportunity to gallop through the swift river that was once our dirt driveway.

Our own little Kacy Sue Kittelsen, decided that the rain was the most exciting experience of her 19 month old life and chose to stomp around in the middle of the rain storm while all the old fogies stared at her from the safety of the garage. I stripped her of her sopping clothes and stuffed her two, stringy pony tails into the hood over her oversized red rain coat…as if that would keep her dry and warm.
The garage….full of the class of 92 High School Grads, and a bunch of old, old people (ok, our parents), seemed to get along just fine because they were sedated by the drink. Apparently there was just as big of a crew, much smarter group of individuals, in the basement of the barn listening to live acoustic playing guitar and playing lawn, turned barn games. It seemed they were oblivious to the cramped, moist quarters of those of us huddled in the garage below.

Upstairs in the barn, some lucky kids plopped themselves down on padded rental chairs, and watched Disney’s “Cars” and chomped on some freshly popcorn. Their lucky parents, enjoyed the fresh keg of beer, and were completely dry and safe from the torrential rain. The smartest, smartest group of all, however, where those old wise friends of my parents (and joann bergers parents from Cincinnati…smart as a whip, those folks), who just sat up in the porch of the house smoked cigarettes, poured themselves a stiff cocktail and watched the mayhem unfold. They reminded me of the two old guys who sat up on the balcony of the Muppet Show who told bad jokes about Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.

I, on the other hand, had high hopes for the rain to pass and took it with a grain of salt…for about a half hour. But, as it continued and continued, and I saw the party pony people pulling a reluctant donkey down the flowing driveway to a trailer, I wanted to weep. Actually, I was weeping, but thankfully there was so much rain in my face, no one could tell. I found moments of peace when I got the chance to visit with Kris and John Parod (they guy with the goofy straw hat), They assured me there were having fun anyway. I tried to believe them. If a couple with triples is having fun trapped in a garage with people they don’t know, it’s not THAT bad. Andrew and Stephanie Volna, assured me that the two of them and their 4 month old would not leave….nor would many others…because they just drove too damn far to give up this early. So, according to them it just wasn’t THAT bad. John Linsmayer, my dearest friend Jane’s late 70ish dad, continued to make all the 40ish woman blush with his talk of “all the beautiful dollies (to their face of course).” If my friends are flattered by John Linsmayer, it’s just not THAT bad. And, another old friend Michelle showed up with her family after a long hiatus and was forced to reconnect with our old high school friends since we were locked in a pen together….kind of like the fainting goats. I guess, it just wasn't THAT bad.


Friday, June 6, 2008

House Swap With Goats

Jessie and Nate, our yard workers from heaven, built the goats a wonderfully comfortable pen in our machine shed. Jessie’s dad, the stork who drop shipped these lovely creatures to us, was kind enough to give them to us for free. He also has a lead on peacocks and lamas…which we will likely follow up on…We definitely found our “dealer.”

The boys (as we call them...18 years old and more mature than us), built the pen out of wood scraps and old fencing that was left from the previous owners. The latches on the door to the pen are far too decorative for goats, but a great excuse to finally use some of Jon’s odd collectibles in a meaningful way. Instead of hanging photos of our new family of goats in our home (like a dog or cat photo), we have decided to hang some photos of US, in their home. Maybe we should dress ourselves up funny, like people do with their dogs? Hmmm…so much to think about. We have yet to do this, but generally have made their home as “home-like,” as possible.


We hung an old retro light with a chain from the ceiling. It looks like one of those dim-lit hanging fixtures that you either saw (or imagined seeing) at Shakee’s Pizza back in the day. This cozy light, along with a few boxes of hay, some buckets for grass and water, and WALLLAHHH… a new goat home. We also added a few painted stools, but they have just turned into a delicious appetizer for the little guys. I also gave Jon my old satellite radio (which does not work in the house), and hoped it would work for them out on the shed. No such luck. I had great images of them nodding off to sleep with Willie Nelson Stardust echoing off the tractor tires, or even listening to them chuckle-baahhhh while listening to Blue Collar Comedy. Needless to say, despite it not working, we just left the radio on their shelf for looks. I wonder if there is anyone who can help me “feng shui” their pen?

Our KIDS (our human baby too)

Jon trying to explain to 18 month old Kacy Sue, why in the WORLPosted by PicasaD he decided to get fainting goats...

Kacy Sue posing for a side profile photo with April, her youngest goat sister
Terry trying to do his best impression of a very small cow

Friday, May 30, 2008

Welcome to our family, KIDS

They have arrived. Fainting Goats, of our very own. I can only imagine the jealousy….

I obviously named our new fainting goats, “Sven,” “Terry,” and “April.” Obviously. It is no coincidence that family members share the same names. But, fainting goats are also our family now…so, what the heck. Our relatives will know that their legacy will continue on our farm, even if this means through the life of a goat…or a chicken…or a pet turtle.

These past 2 weeks, Sven has turned out to be the most friendly, and even a bit of a cuddler. He will chew my pants, lightly bump his horns (is that what they are called?) against my hand and come to me when I call “hey guy, hey guy.” He’s like a Beanie Baby with bad breath. April, the smallest with little tiny horns, is the most timid. Luckily she is protected by her two brothers. When Ada, our Labradoodle tried to take a quick run at her, Sven and Terry quickly jumped in front of her and tried to give Ada a quick and menacing stab with her butter knife horns. All of them are about 2.5 months old and about as big as a huge cat, or two medium sized ones. Terry, like Sven is interested in the human-kind but with a little attitude. He also has distinguishable floppy ears, which makes it look like he’s wearing a sunhat on sideways. All of them are brown, like Ellen, our chicken. They all have white spots, although April has the most- covering a lot of her face and chest. The boys have about the same amount of spotting, and all 3 share a perfectly straight black line down their back. These are our new kids….welcome home.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Why Fainting Goats?

It has been decided that we need more on this farm. The 2 ducks, the chicken, the dogs, the cats, the baby, the garden, the pastures, the barn, the tractors....many of which (especially the baby), we know very little about. Now, to just to fill out the circle of inexperience and inadequacy, why not Fainting Goats? What kind of farm are we, frankly what kind of people are we, without these stiff legged companions.

I have been doing some research...very little, which is exactly how we make decisions on this farm....with very little research and a lot of spontaneity. We were offered the goats. It's not like we set out to acquire an animal who tumbles over in stillness, while still chewing hay. Well, I guess I set out to marry Jon, and he does the same thing during his late night food binges. The idea of having some little pals with goatee moustaches and furry torsos around here, has crossed our minds since we moved here. But then again, there are a lot of Jon's friends who come over here looking like that too...so why the goats?

Apparently Fainting Goats are very intelligent, docile, friendly, and most importantly nonathletic. Well then, if I really think about it, this is a perfect description of my mom. Luckily her legs don't stiffen up. Well, maybe they do, but only if she gets walking too fast down a steep hill.

I guess the tipping point was when I saw this You Tube video of a Tennesee Farmer who talks about Fainting Goats. He's articulate, and speaks with absolute scientific precision. He has convinced me. We will be getting Fainting Goats. We have someone who will drive them here from Northern Minnesota. They are free, except for the gas (as in the car) that brings them here. We will get 3. I will keep you posted. Please enjoy the video and I hope you can come and visit these characters...including the goats.


Bahhhye, for now.